Anxiety · Cats · Diary · Emotionally unstable personality disorder · Health · Medication · Mental health · Personality disorder · Schizophrenia · Uncategorized · Voices

Last night.

Last night I had a disagreement with a family member. I got really upset and worked up. When I thought all I was trying to do was help. Anyway I got myself so worked up I smashed my head on the wall as hard as possible repeatedly. The weird thing is I felt no pain. Anyway I told the family member to leave. And I was still crying and I’m such a state of anger, I tried calming myself down but I couldn’t. So I fed the cats, grabbed loads of warm clothes, drinks, and medication. You n the view of going for a drive and overdosing. Grabed for my car keys and jumped in. I started driving with no destination. I went around In a few circles, not being able to decide where to go. I was low on fule and needed to fill up, so I drove in to the nearest garage and filled up, I’ve never done that before. Firstly going out alone and secondly in then to fill up my car. I was so worked up about what had happen all anxiety and worry went out the window. In matter of fact I couldn’t have cared less what happened. I found a nice place to sit and watch fireworks, and tried to calm myself down. I managed to, I then drove back home after 2 hours, I got really scared with fireworks being set off both sides of where I live, so I parked my car down the road, and went and sat with my cats. 

What a emotional night! 

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