Im so exhausted, being awake is exhausting, but the strange thing is I’m not tired. There’s so much going on in my life I’m not sure where my concentration should be. Can I direct my concentration, is that possible. If so I want to concentrate of what is here in front of me. But I’m finding it difficult with the voices, music and so many thoughts. It’s not easy, I wonder if everyone feels like this. Am i in danger from my care team, I’m not sure. I look forward to seeing my cpn, so I guess that proves I’m not scared of her, but deep down I still believe she has something to do with these cloning bugs. I don’t know. I use to think I was certain, and that I had it all planned out but do I? It’s so confusing. Anyway the plan is to see her tomorrow, especially as I need my medication. But I know all these bugs around are spying on me, tracking where I am. I don’t think I know the extent of whose involved and where this part of my life is going to take me. I thought I had it all planned out. Do I have the blood test Thursday? Do I see my cpn tomorrow? Why do I call my psychiatric team my care team, they don’t care about me? Maybe I thought they used to care about me but things have changed, it probably all changed when I found out I can’t die. Then their plans and motives changed, maybe they have been looking for someone who is invincible, and then here I am. I’m fed up of all the talking behind my back and I’m sure they’ve made plans, they just don’t want to share the, with me, because they know I will not agree and will fight my way, what have I got to loose? I think their plan is to get me to a vulnerable place, or put me in hospital, where they can gain more control. How wil I fight that? Why do I take medication? I know it helps with the voices but they don’t go, and I don’t really see what other help the medication gives me. Why do you take it?