So much going on in my head right now, weight, voices, thoughts, and plans. I’m scared as I don’t want to do anything wrong and I’m scared that I’m getting fat again. I really thought I was thinner, I really thought I was on the right path, I tried clothes on I thought would be to big but they fitted. So that’s made me feel bad about my body. I don’t know what to do. I’m really wanting alcohol to help with the thoughts and voices but I don’t want to put the weight on. I’m being pulled so many ways. I mean I canbe a social drinker can’t I? I’m scared.