Alcohol · Anxiety · Emotionally unstable personality disorder · Health · Medication · Mental health · Personality disorder · Schizophrenia · self harm · Voices

I’m sorry I’m a failure.

I didn’t show the physical pain I’m going through, I only harmed a tiny bit, but I did take a few too many pills, which I think made me sleepy so I didn’t harm as bad. I’m a failure to myself, no one else. 

I feel so many emotions I’m not sure what I should do with them. I feel half normal at the moment and that’s a very hard thing to deal with. I feel I dealt with yesterday better than I thought I would, I kept myself busy and the day went pretty quickly. 

I’m convinced the pharmacy gave me the wrong medication and the wrong amount, I did ask them about it, but they were sure they were right. 

I still feel as though today is still connected and I’m not sure what to do with that. I really either want to take a lot of tablets again, or get drunk. I want to harm, and some part of me doesn’t want to be here at all. I’m scared. I think I’m going to head out side, I’m not sure where or why, I just can’t sit here and do nothing. I need to escape. 

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