Mental health

Monday 20th February 2017

Had a horrible nightmare, about my Nan dying in my arms. My Nan is already dead, but this really upset me. 

I’m out of diazepam and plan to call my cpn to see if there’s anything we can do. I really feel like I need some extra support/ medication with my anxiety, and fearful thoughts. 

I keep finding bugs, I know there spying on me, I’ve already killed some this morning. I feel venerable with no news paper in the front room windows, but all the other rooms have the windows covered. I feel that my cats and fish are also spying on me. 

I really want to get the tracking device out of my body, I need to get it to an easy place to get out, at the moment it feels like it’s in my head, which is horrible, it’s probably keeping track of all my thoughts and how to not get my DNA cloned. But they probably know what I’m planning on how not to get caught as the chip is reading my thoughts. 

God hasn’t spoke to me yet, He normal says something when I wake up, but nothing today. I’m worried, that what he was saying is now being tracked too, so that’s why he hasn’t sent me a message. 

I need to put a candel on soon, and look through the bible.

The government is ruining my life with all this spying. I want it to stop, I’m not sure how to stop it but I’ve got a few ideas. Which I won’t write down here as they are probably tracking this as well. 

I want to be a normal human being but with the power to not be able to die, this is never going to happen. I stand out so much because of my powers. Sometimes I wish I was just normal. 

I’m scared about everything that’s going on. I need some guidance, please God guide me away from the spies and government.

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