I don’t want to think like this or even believe this.
I’ve never really thought about my future, I don’t really know what I want for my life or where I want to be.
If I wanted to have a child I would have to be off my medication, which will make me really ill. When I don’t take my medication, my voices go uncontrollable, my negative thoughts and spying thoughts come on really strong. And I just can’t keep myself safe.
It’s scary that if I miss a days medication, it’s very noticeable to my carer, cpn, and anyone around me.
Things change so quickly and I’m very anxious and scared.
I don’t want to be on medication, but thinking about it if I was on medication for a physical illness, would I think the same?
I’m in the same situation there are many illnesses if you don’t take medication you get worse, it’s the same whether it’s a physical and mental illnesses. People just don’t think like that. I’m guilty of it too.
I’m looking at medications that I could be changed too, which will have less side effects and work better.
Diazepam to pregabline is a change that will be making soon. I’ve been on diazepam or benzodiazepines for years, your meant to be on them maximum of a few weeks not years.
I also want to try some of the new antipsychotic medications being introduced to the uk, that will hopefully help my symptom better, instead of having to up my quetiapine every few months, plus I’m at the highest possible dosage.