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Restarting my liquid diet again.

I lost weight last time and I want to loose a bit more so I’m going on a liquid only diet for a week to see how that workes. I won’t how much I will loose this time.

Im having lots of water and a skim fast shake and soup is my diet for the next week.

anorexia · Anxiety · blogger · clozapine · Dad · Daily update · delusions · Emotionally unstable personality disorder · family · hallucinations · Health · healthy · Medication · Mental health · mental health blogger · Personality disorder · psychosis · Schizophrenia · self harm

Chat with dad.

I had a chat with dad today. It was a really nice chat and we don’t do it enough.

I’m so grateful for my dads support and help he gives me.

My Dad said my illnesses and admitted I had an illness, this was a massive step. My parents have always gone round the fact I suffer with mental illness.

I love my parents and I’m so grateful that my dad was able to give me the time and thought today.

I hope that there’s more to come.

anorexia · Anxiety · exercise · Food · Mental health · Over weight · Overweight · Personality disorder · Weight · weight gain · weight loss · weightloss

What size am I?

I know I’m fat but what size am I?

I had to try clothes on today And im so embarrass. Luckily no one saw. But the shorts wouldn’t come over my thighs and they were labels a size bigger than I would normally get.

I hate myself.

I want to loose so much weight and I hope this is the motivation I needed.

So I weight too much and I look fat and disgusting.

anorexia · Anxiety · exercise · Food · Health · healthy · Mental health · Nhs · Over weight · Overweight · Weight · weight gain · weight loss · weightloss

When did I get this big?

I’ve gone from a low weight to overweight and then normal weight… but guess what Im over weight again.

I hate how I look, I’m really going to try to loose the weight and keep it off this time.

From right now I’m going to try to loose the weight, I want to loose at least 20pounds. I want to be well in to the healthy weight according to the nhs bmi chart.

anorexia · Anxiety · Daily update · Emotionally unstable personality disorder · Emotions · Food · Health · healthy · Mental health · self harm · Weight · weight gain · weight loss · weightloss

I can’t do it!

It’s so hard, eating. I feel incredibly guilty and fat, I hate myself.

I’m struggling with solid foods or liquid calories. I’m physically struggling to swallow solid foods, and mentally struggling to drink, drinks with calories. I wish I could drink alcohol with out the guilt, calories and gain benefits.

I wish I could live of Diet Coke. Zero calories, and it dehydrates.

anorexia · Mental health

Swallowing trouble … is it anxiety?

I’ve had a problem swallowing (mainly food) for a while now, it fluctuates. Sometimes I can swallow fine and other times I’m chocking.

Is it anxiety or is there something wrong?

I don’t feel like there is anything stopping the food other than swallowing the food. I do panic and try to cough the food back up.

Any ideas?

My doctor knows but isn’t sure what it is.

I did have anorexia a while back but in recovery from that. Although I still want to watch my weight and food.