Anxiety · blogger · Emotions · family · Future · Health · i did it · Mental health · mental health blogger · Miscarriage · nature · Pregnancy · Pregnant · self harm · Sisters

TRIGGER WARNING-scars

I’ve self harmed for years, every scar has a story and meaning. They are evidence of surviving and my life. I had this tattoo designed by scratch, the flame symbolising my brother who’s not here, and all three of my sisters chose a flower. So my arm has been changed from showing my scars and story to the love of my family

Tattoo covering my scars up.

First pic my scars… second the design…the finished tattoo.

Anxiety · Mental health · Personality disorder · Schizophrenia · Therapy

Therapy.

I’m struggling I went back to therapy the beginning of this week.

I was really difficult because we were talking about getting a job and life. I was given a weekly chart to fill out what I do and when.

I feel like I don’t need job and carer advice.

I want to have some one away from the nhs, that I can be really open and I feel free to say anything with out being shared in the office.

So I don’t know what to do. I want to go to have a spare person who is there when I need her but, I’m not sure she is thinking the same as me.

How’s therapy going for you?

What’s your experience with therapy that’s not with the nhs?

anorexia · Anxiety · Daily update · Emotionally unstable personality disorder · Emotions · Food · Health · healthy · Mental health · self harm · Weight · weight gain · weight loss · weightloss

I can’t do it!

It’s so hard, eating. I feel incredibly guilty and fat, I hate myself.

I’m struggling with solid foods or liquid calories. I’m physically struggling to swallow solid foods, and mentally struggling to drink, drinks with calories. I wish I could drink alcohol with out the guilt, calories and gain benefits.

I wish I could live of Diet Coke. Zero calories, and it dehydrates.

Anxiety · Career · Carer · delusions · depression · Doctors · Emotionally unstable personality disorder · Emotions · hallucinations · Health · Lonely · Mental age · Mental health · Mental health act · Nhs · Personality disorder · psychiatrist · psychosis · scared · Schizophrenia · Sectioned · Support worker · Therapy

Leave me be… talk to me, double sided rubber bracelet.

My bracelet leave me be in red and talk to me on green. It’s soft and nice to wear. It’s easy to swap between sides. It’s a large bracelet and as far as I’m aware they only come in inside, and it’s large, even on me and I’m an adult.

It’s a great way non verbal or verbal can express if they want to talk or not.

It’s a great way to express when they want to talk. It’s neutral so it suites both make and female.

It’s great if you can’t verbalise what you want.

anorexia · Anxiety · exercise · Food · Health · healthy · i did it · Medication · Mental health · Nhs · Over weight · Overweight · Weight · weight gain · weight loss · weightloss

I’m gaining weight… help me!

I’ve gained weights

I really need to loose weight before I loose respect for myself.

I drink diet soda (too much) and water daily.

I’m on medication that makes me hungry and crave food especially at night time. I snack on the wrong things and at the wrong times.

I exercise an okay amount , I do want to increase it though, but my medication makes me sleepy, which makes it hard to get to the gym at night, when I won’t be alone.

Anyone around to bu weight loss buddies I’m 145lbs and want to loose a lot of weight.

Anxiety · clozapine · delusions · Doctors · Emotionally unstable personality disorder · Future · hallucinations · Health · healthy · Medication · Mental health · Personality disorder · psychiatrist · psychosis · Schizophrenia · self harm · Support worker · Voices

Medication to survive.

I hate the fact that I have to take medication to be sane.

Would I rather be who I really am with no medication or this fake medicated self.

Maybe I want the voices, maybe I want to not know what’s real, may be I want to feel free and feel I have no responsibilities.

I wish I was free.

No medication.

No rules.

Just me!