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My support worker, what should I do with her.

I have a support worker and I’d like to work on getting out the house and achieve things I’m unable to on my own.

I’d like your ideas of things I could try, maybe things you’ve tried with your support or care team?

Maybe things other people with out mental illness are able to achieve especially at aged 25?

Any ideas?

My ideas are….

  • I’d like to go out for a walk around the area I live,
  • I’d like to walk a bit farther, maybe a a short drive then a walk,
  • Making a cup of tea or coffee for someone else.
  • Go in to a shop
  • Buy something in a shop by self service
  • Buy something at a check out with a person where you need to talk.
  • Go to a shop and not buy something
  • Walk up town
  • Volunteer at the rspca, church,
  • Maybe if i’m accepted go to a group therapy
  • Go to a gym club
  • Go swimming at the gym.

Any other ideas will be greatly appreciate?

Anxiety · blogger · clozapine · Cpn · Daily update · delusions · Emotionally unstable personality disorder · hallucinations · hospital · Medication · Mental health · mental health blogger · Personality disorder · psychiatrist · psychosis · Schizophrenia · Support worker

Psychiatrist appointment update.

Today i had my 3 months review with my psychiatrist at the local mental health hospital.

I was so scared. I was meant to be meeting my new cpn. That’s for another blog post.

My cpn, support worker, carer and psychiatrist were all in the one rooks, it was very intimidated. I didn’t really know what to say.

They always want to talk about the spying and my feelings around that. It confuses me because i do see how that is relevant. I know they say it’s because i have an illness that makes me thing these kind of things.

Anyway my clozapine is being increase to 150 mg morning and around 2pm, and then 200mg before bed.

I will still be taking 600mg daily of pregabline, and the medications for my physical health.

Anyway I’m note really sure what was said and that. I’m so there was said and i cant remember much.

Anxiety · blogger · clozapine · Cpn · Daily update · delusions · Doctors · Emotionally unstable personality disorder · Glad · hallucinations · Health · healthy · hospital · i did it · Medication · Mental health · mental health blogger · Now · Personality disorder · psychiatrist · psychosis · scared · Schizophrenia · Sectioned · self harm · Support worker · Voices

I was brave.

Today I had to go to my local mental health hospital to collect medication. Normally I walk but today I have my car so I was able to drive there.

I did it.

I drove there, parked, got a ticket, walked in all on my own.

I can’t quite believe it.

Anxiety · blogger · clozapine · Cpn · Daily update · delusions · Diary · Doctors · Emotionally unstable personality disorder · Emotions · hallucinations · healthy · Medication · Mental health · mental health blogger · Now · Personality disorder · psychosis · scared · Schizophrenia · self harm · Support worker · Therapy · Voices

Save me from this struggle.

I’ve been struggling really bad the last few days. I’m not 100% sure why.

It could be because I stopped my diazepam cold turkey. I was only on 2mg and had been gradually going do any it was the last move with my medication.

The voices are taking control, I’m self harming more in a way to deal with them. I feel suicidal, and want to hide myself away. I’m hating who I . Im getting lack of sleep. Im very restless. And most of all I’m so anxious it’s stopping me from getting on with my day to day life.

I’ve called my community psychiatric nurse this morning but she was unable to talk so I’m waiting for a call back.

I don’t know what the solution is other than, come off the diazepam slower, or introduce another medication to help with the anxiety or voices.

Meds I’m currently on…

  • 400 mg clozapine,
  • 1.25 bisoprlol,
  • 600mg pregabline.

Any advice from my lovely followers would be helpful. Xx

Stay safe and well, Rosie.

Anxiety · clozapine · Cpn · delusions · Emotionally unstable personality disorder · hallucinations · Health · healthy · Medication · Mental health · Personality disorder · psychosis · Schizophrenia · Voices

Medication update.

Hopefully no more changes. I think I’m at the right dosage.

I’m on…

  • 400 mg clozapine
  • 500mg pregabline
  • 2mg diazepam
  • 1.25 mg bisoprolol
  • Kwells
  • Vitamin b complex

They are really helping me to not be symptomatic.

Anxiety · clozapine · Cpn · Daily update · delusions · Doctors · Emotionally unstable personality disorder · hallucinations · Health · hospital · Medication · Mental health · Personality disorder · psychosis · scared · self harm

Medication was changed on Thursday.

TRIGGER WARNING…. overdoes, and medication.

Clozapine is being upped to 400mg

400mg which I’m a bit worried about but I think it will be okay. They know what there doing.

My pregabline is being increased next week too.

When will my medication stop being messed around with.

When will I feel better. It’s such a difficult time. I’ve just to try and put trust in to them.

The urge to overdose is really strong.