I haven’t spoke to hear in the last 3 weeks which I find really difficult because I’ve got so much to talk about.
She is great, and I really hope she is okay. It’s just difficult not knowing when I will next be able to vent my thoughts and feelings.
I hope you get better soon.
Hopefully no more changes. I think I’m at the right dosage.
- 400 mg clozapine
- 500mg pregabline
- 2mg diazepam
- 1.25 mg bisoprolol
- Vitamin b complex
They are really helping me to not be symptomatic.
TRIGGER WARNING…. overdoes, and medication.
Clozapine is being upped to 400mg
400mg which I’m a bit worried about but I think it will be okay. They know what there doing.
My pregabline is being increased next week too.
When will my medication stop being messed around with.
When will I feel better. It’s such a difficult time. I’ve just to try and put trust in to them.
The urge to overdose is really strong.
Slept really well, I feel asleep in the cafe yesterday evening, and then got a good 11 hours sleep.
Met with cpn yesterday and was good to talk things through. She made me feel I don’t have to hide that I feel scared of being better and we talked about the voices going.
Today I’m up to 50mg clozapine. Plan is to learn sign language to a song I love.
I’m feeling suspicious about them all talking behind my back. Are they really on my side.
They also said that they were upping my diazepam to the 6mg it was a week ago. I said I don’t want to go back up on diazepam and hopefully they agree.
I’ve managed to continue my step goal the last three days.
Going to try to continue as long as possible.
All going okay.
I’m back in to the local mental health hospital. I had a blood test last week that showed low white blood cells, and because of this I was unable to start clozapine, this is another blood test to see if anything has changed from last week.
I hope they get blood easily, they normally have to try a few times to get enough blood. It’s very frustrating and causes slot of anxiety.
I’m sat in the cafe because they don’t think we are dignified enough to have a waiting room. So it’s going of flows of being busy. It’s making my anxiety going all over the place, but if I go on clozapine I’ve got to get use to waiting here because I will have to do this weekly.
I’m not sure this is the right step for me and is this the sign.
I don’t know what to do, I’ve got my music on and that’s helping me feel calmer, but the voices are talking over it.
I’m anxious and first off if you’ve got any advice or personal stories of trial with clozapine, (clozaril.)
My Diagnosis: anxiety, emotionally unstable personality disorder, and schizophrenia.
I’ve tried most antipsychotic medications, and at really high dosages, they help for a while but then I get resistant to that.
I’m really scared of the weight gain as the side effects, what’s your side effects?
Okay I do know this guy, we’ve had a few arguments in the past but he was calling to see if I was okay as my cpn is off work.
I said I was fine and had positive tone,
Oh words can change everything!
He will call again Monday.