Anxiety · Cpn · Daily update · delusions · Doctors · Emotionally unstable personality disorder · hallucinations · Health · healthy · hospital · Medication · Mental health · Personality disorder · psychiatrist · psychosis · Schizophrenia · self harm · spying · Support worker · Therapy · Voices

Monday 16th October 2017

I’m back in to the local mental health hospital. I had a blood test last week that showed low white blood cells, and because of this I was unable to start clozapine, this is another blood test to see if anything has changed from last week.

I hope they get blood easily, they normally have to try a few times to get enough blood. It’s very frustrating and causes slot of anxiety.

I’m sat in the cafe because they don’t think we are dignified enough to have a waiting room. So it’s going of flows of being busy. It’s making my anxiety going all over the place, but if I go on clozapine I’ve got to get use to waiting here because I will have to do this weekly.

I’m not sure this is the right step for me and is this the sign.

I don’t know what to do, I’ve got my music on and that’s helping me feel calmer, but the voices are talking over it.

Anxiety · Emotionally unstable personality disorder · hallucinations · Mental health · Personality disorder · psychosis · Schizophrenia · Voices

Mind hearing voices group.

I went to a group at a near by mine group, it was about hearing voices.

I was really scared that when I was in the group I could feel myself dissociating. I was able to listen to what the others was saying and it was very reassuring and also shocked me that I felt I was able to relate so much.

It was a really good group, and when I feel a bit more settled I would love to go back.

My care team had not heard of them, which I was surprised because it was a really good group.

I’d love to help in groups like that in the future.

Anxiety · Cpn · delusions · depression · Doctors · Emotionally unstable personality disorder · Emotions · hallucinations · Health · healthy · hospital · Medication · Mental health · Nhs · Personality disorder · psychiatrist · psychosis · Schizophrenia · self harm · Support worker · Therapy · Voices · Weight · weight gain

Clozapine trial

I’m anxious and first off if you’ve got any advice or personal stories of trial with clozapine, (clozaril.)

My Diagnosis: anxiety, emotionally unstable personality disorder, and schizophrenia.

I’ve tried most antipsychotic medications, and at really high dosages, they help for a while but then I get resistant to that.

I’m really scared of the weight gain as the side effects, what’s your side effects?

Anxiety · Daily update · delusions · Emotionally unstable personality disorder · Future · hallucinations · healthy · Medication · Mental health · Personality disorder · psychiatrist · psychosis · Schizophrenia · Voices · Weight · weight gain

Psychiatrist appointment

Last week I had a psychiatrist appointment, this caused so much anxiety as last time I went three months ago I was sectioned there and then.

But this time was relatively positive, I’m being put in s trial of clozapine, hoping it will treat both my personality disorder and schizophrenia.

I’ve never been on it but running out of antipsychotics that work.

Any advice would be really appreciated.

Feel free to comment or email me rosiestar11@yahoo.co.uk

Anxiety · Daily update · delusions · Doctors · Emotionally unstable personality disorder · hallucinations · hospital · Medication · Mental health · Nhs · Personality disorder · psychiatrist · psychosis · Schizophrenia · Sectioned · spying · Support worker · Therapy · Voices

I’m 100% sure I’m being spied on!

Okay, so yes in the past my post have been about this but it all calmed down until now I’ve noticed a lot of things have been going on with out me focusing too much on it.

The spiders everywhere, I’m killing and keeping them. EVIDENCE!!!

I want to call the police but they are connected to the government, they will get me locked away somewhere.

I don’t want the government to know I’m on to them.

I know they are probably going to try to get mental health workers involved, and at the moment I’m not seeing them. And collecting my medication from the hospital.

Another problem is the medication I have no clue what they are putting in it other than if I try to stop it makes me have really bad withdrawals.