Anxiety · clozapine · Cpn · Daily update · delusions · Doctors · Emotionally unstable personality disorder · hallucinations · Health · hospital · Medication · Mental health · Personality disorder · psychosis · scared · self harm

Medication was changed on Thursday.

TRIGGER WARNING…. overdoes, and medication.

Clozapine is being upped to 400mg

400mg which I’m a bit worried about but I think it will be okay. They know what there doing.

My pregabline is being increased next week too.

When will my medication stop being messed around with.

When will I feel better. It’s such a difficult time. I’ve just to try and put trust in to them.

The urge to overdose is really strong.

clozapine · exercise · Food · Health · healthy · Medication · Mental health · Over weight · Overweight · Weight · weight gain · weight loss · weightloss

Will I gain weight? What I have in place to not gaining weight.

I’m really anxious that I’m going to gain weight. I have already gained some weight and back up to 145pounds.

I’m very upset about this but I know what I need to do.

It could be medication related but I want to try and beat it, so I can continue to loose weight.

I’m being started in clozapine/ clozaril which every webpage says makes you gain weight.

I’ve got to fight against this. So what am I going to do to help myself loose weight….

  • Drink water,
  • Exercise the gym and home,
  • 10,000 steps,
  • Green tea,
  • Not much sugary foods,
  • Control calorie in take,
  • Always burn more than I eat,
  • Keep adding my consumption to MyFitnessPal and paper journal,
  • Push myself to stick to all above.
Anxiety · Cpn · Daily update · delusions · Doctors · Emotionally unstable personality disorder · hallucinations · Health · healthy · hospital · Medication · Mental health · Personality disorder · psychiatrist · psychosis · Schizophrenia · self harm · spying · Support worker · Therapy · Voices

Monday 16th October 2017

I’m back in to the local mental health hospital. I had a blood test last week that showed low white blood cells, and because of this I was unable to start clozapine, this is another blood test to see if anything has changed from last week.

I hope they get blood easily, they normally have to try a few times to get enough blood. It’s very frustrating and causes slot of anxiety.

I’m sat in the cafe because they don’t think we are dignified enough to have a waiting room. So it’s going of flows of being busy. It’s making my anxiety going all over the place, but if I go on clozapine I’ve got to get use to waiting here because I will have to do this weekly.

I’m not sure this is the right step for me and is this the sign.

I don’t know what to do, I’ve got my music on and that’s helping me feel calmer, but the voices are talking over it.