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I was sick last night.

I was actually physically sick a few times. I feel completely cleared out.

I’m not sure if this is God answering my prays.

He can’t fix everything for me but he can give me the opportunity to do it might self.

Thank you. I think this is the sign I’ve been after.

exercise · Food · Health · healthy · i did it · Mental health · mental health blogger · Over weight · Overweight · Weight · weight gain · weight loss · weightloss

I’ve done it!

I’ve managed to get in to the 149lbs, it was only after a few days. I had been stuck in the 150lbs for too long!

Im trying my best. It’s hard work but I’m doing it. I’ve been exercising all day, and I can’t wait to weigh myself tomorrow.

I hope the wait can continue to go down.

I’ve brought myself a dress in the size I want to end up being. It’s a big motivation, I hope it helps me to continue to loose.

I can do this!

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I was brave.

Today I had to go to my local mental health hospital to collect medication. Normally I walk but today I have my car so I was able to drive there.

I did it.

I drove there, parked, got a ticket, walked in all on my own.

I can’t quite believe it.

anorexia · Anxiety · exercise · Food · Health · healthy · Mental health · Nhs · Over weight · Overweight · Weight · weight gain · weight loss · weightloss

When did I get this big?

I’ve gone from a low weight to overweight and then normal weight… but guess what Im over weight again.

I hate how I look, I’m really going to try to loose the weight and keep it off this time.

From right now I’m going to try to loose the weight, I want to loose at least 20pounds. I want to be well in to the healthy weight according to the nhs bmi chart.

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TRIGGER WARNING-scars

I’ve self harmed for years, every scar has a story and meaning. They are evidence of surviving and my life. I had this tattoo designed by scratch, the flame symbolising my brother who’s not here, and all three of my sisters chose a flower. So my arm has been changed from showing my scars and story to the love of my family

Tattoo covering my scars up.

First pic my scars… second the design…the finished tattoo.

anorexia · Anxiety · Daily update · Emotionally unstable personality disorder · Emotions · Food · Health · healthy · Mental health · self harm · Weight · weight gain · weight loss · weightloss

I can’t do it!

It’s so hard, eating. I feel incredibly guilty and fat, I hate myself.

I’m struggling with solid foods or liquid calories. I’m physically struggling to swallow solid foods, and mentally struggling to drink, drinks with calories. I wish I could drink alcohol with out the guilt, calories and gain benefits.

I wish I could live of Diet Coke. Zero calories, and it dehydrates.