I’m back in to the local mental health hospital. I had a blood test last week that showed low white blood cells, and because of this I was unable to start clozapine, this is another blood test to see if anything has changed from last week.
I hope they get blood easily, they normally have to try a few times to get enough blood. It’s very frustrating and causes slot of anxiety.
I’m sat in the cafe because they don’t think we are dignified enough to have a waiting room. So it’s going of flows of being busy. It’s making my anxiety going all over the place, but if I go on clozapine I’ve got to get use to waiting here because I will have to do this weekly.
I’m not sure this is the right step for me and is this the sign.
I don’t know what to do, I’ve got my music on and that’s helping me feel calmer, but the voices are talking over it.
I wish I could call this weightLOSS update, but I’m afraid that I’m heavier than I was this time last year.
I loss 50 lbs altogether and now that’s all back.
I really hate myself for that.
So I guess I need to put a plan in place to get back on that track. I’ve already made a good start to that with stopping alcohol. But I’m still eating loads of really unhealthy foods, and too much of that.
I also feel so tired at the moment and not able to exercise as much as I want.
My white blood cells are low and I wonder if that’s effecting me making me feel sleepy, if not then I really don’t know what to do and what’s going on.
Any help or suggestions would be very helpful.
So my weight is… 150lbs
With a goal of loosing 50lbs.
Help me loose weight.
Happy world mental health day!
This is a message to say to all those out there suffering with mental illness that your not alone. Speak out don’t suffer in silence.💙
I’ve been trying to go to the gym, when I go I feel good and it feels brilliant to be getting the endorphins from exercise. I never regret going to the gym, I just regret not going.
I keep finding excuses, or I drink alcohol.
That’s what I’m fighting right now. I’ve put on weight and I feel low and bad, I want to go to the gym tonight, but I’m expecting a delivery and I really want to drink the alcohol so I can say it’s all gone. Plus alcohol in the short term would make me feel better.
I will get to the gym but I need motivation, if my weight gain isn’t enough motivation, I don’t know what will.
How do you motivate yourself?
I’m anxious and first off if you’ve got any advice or personal stories of trial with clozapine, (clozaril.)
My Diagnosis: anxiety, emotionally unstable personality disorder, and schizophrenia.
I’ve tried most antipsychotic medications, and at really high dosages, they help for a while but then I get resistant to that.
I’m really scared of the weight gain as the side effects, what’s your side effects?
Giving blood is so important to saving lives, you never know when you or a relative is going to need it to save lives.
Your a hero if you give blood, it’s live saving. That makes you a hero in my eyes.
At 2 my sister was diagnosed with acute lymphoblastic leukaemia. (Cancer.) and a blood transfusion saved her many times. So a massive thank you to you!
I’ve also needed a few blood transfusions and without them I wouldn’t be here right now writing this blog post. I thank you from my heart for saving my life.
Even though at times I’ve wanted to die, I’m still 100% grateful for you saving my life. I only had my first blood transfusion under a section, and really resisted it, but it made a massive impact to how I physically felt and then my mental health got better.
I had one a few days ago, and this has made me think about all the hero’s out there. I know I can’t give blood myself but I’m motivated to fundraise for charities and help others in any other way I can.
Im hoping that, that’s my last blood transfusion and I can help others in any possible way.
Don’t worry if you can’t give blood you can still be a hero, there are many other ways to save life’s, fundraising, donating to charity, volunteers, working on research or working for charity’s that fund research.
It feels like yesterday I felt thin and was at my lowest weight this year, the next thing I know I’m back into the overweight category.
I hate myself. I see all or nothing.
What I see in the mirror changes everything time even if I saw it seconds ago, it will be different a second later.
I need to get back down to that weight, it means so much to me to try and loose the weight and feel good about myself.
I’m fat, what I see in the mirror is fat, devil, and distorted. It’s scary.