Yes I'm ill both physically and mentally, but I have a life away from this.
Everyday. When I wake up, I can't help but think that I don't want to live another day with the symptoms, mainly the voices, anxiety, and dizziness are the ones that effect me the most.
Today I'm trying to focus on things I do that aren't related to my illnesses.
I'm spending time with my cats and they are getting a present today, will post a picture later.
I've spoke to my family. I've had a tidy up, I'm going to continue to do blog posts, watching some things that wasn't illness related.
Even though I'm trying really hard to not think about my illnesses or give in to them, The voices are trying their best to get my full attention.
I don't know if I can do this, my life has just been built around the illnesses! I want to be more than them but I don't know how.
Any advice or tips?
I want to loose a stone. I need to put so much effort in. I will do this.
This is Dangerous I'm being told, I think it's because I get so distracted by the voices I forget where I am, how I got from one place to another and I forget to check the roads as I cross. I crossed in the middle of the road by a bus, I just forgot to look.
Walking too far, I've tried to walk a lot to feel free, and safe. But I'm trying to figure out do I feel safer inside or outside.
Physically feeling faint and weak, I still try and push myself but it's hard to remember the length I've walked I've got to do again to get home.
I lie to get out it it's only me that looses as I still feel like rubbish whether I'm in hospital or home.
Medication change was the plan but I'm just starting to be able to loose the weight again. So do I really want to mess that up again?
This month has been quite busy.
I was discharged off my section.
I was able to spend my day with my dad on his 50th birthday. I'm so glad it was such a special day. I got a photo with him and it makes me so happy when I look at it.
Yesterday I did a lot of walking.
I have been gaining a lot of weight basically a pound a day, which I've put down too the changes in my medication. I've been eating and exercising the same. Until now.
Im trying to get a lot more exercise done and calories burnt. I think it's paying off because I lost weight this morning. I need to continue to loose this weight.
The rest of the month I plan to do an online course and try to feel better mentally. I feel I'm not always here. I can't remember what I'm doing sometimes, but hopefully I will be okay.
So I’ve got 62 days which in my head doesn’t sound a lot it makes me think about every little choice I’m making about food and drink.
Current I’m in an acute mental health ward, after completely loosing touch with life. I will admit now that I’m on the right medication I can see how things are and it’s pretty scary. I’m sectioned under section 2 of the mental health act. I still have 16 days on my section, but I’m hoping I will have my tribunal really soon so I can get out of here.
I’ve learnt my lesson don’t stop or mess around with medication.
Anyway back to the weight loss plan…
Well I don’t really have one. I don’t know what I should do, should I follow my own diet plan? Or something like slimming world, I really have no idea.
Any help appreciated.
What I do know I’m going to do.
- Medication correctly everyday,
- Caffeine products,
- Low kcal or no kcal drinks,
- Drink at least two litres everyday,
- Aim 10, 000 steps a day, which is difficult in a small ward,
- I’m not aiming to starve myself, but I know I need to eat less than I burn,
- When I get out of here gym three times a week,
- Try to eat as healthy as possible,
- Weigh myself once a week I think Fridays.
Any other suggestions please help me, I’m aiming to loose a lot of weight.