Anxiety · clozapine · Cpn · Daily update · delusions · Doctors · Emotionally unstable personality disorder · hallucinations · Health · hospital · Medication · Mental health · Personality disorder · psychosis · scared · self harm

Medication was changed on Thursday.

TRIGGER WARNING…. overdoes, and medication.

Clozapine is being upped to 400mg

400mg which I’m a bit worried about but I think it will be okay. They know what there doing.

My pregabline is being increased next week too.

When will my medication stop being messed around with.

When will I feel better. It’s such a difficult time. I’ve just to try and put trust in to them.

The urge to overdose is really strong.

anorexia · Anxiety · exercise · Food · i did it · Medication · Mental health · Over weight · Overweight · Weight · weight loss · weightloss

1st December… that came along quick.

I’ve got just over a month too loose thee weight. I have to be determined, I won’t loose the weight if I carry on eating and drinking the way I have been. I need to be strong and discipline myself.

I weigh 144.2lbs. I know fat and gross. I will loose this weight.

First good decision was to not have those biscuits this morning. And I’m planning on going to the gym. I can do this.

44 days… Any support will be very much welcomed.

“I believe I can therefore I will!”

clozapine · delusions · Emotionally unstable personality disorder · hallucinations · Medication · Mental health · Personality disorder · psychosis · Schizophrenia · Weight · weight gain · weight loss · weightloss

Is this motivation…?

I have been so unmotivated for weeks now.

Today has been the first day I got out of bed and stayed awake. I’m even attempting to exercise, to help with loosing weight.

Have you or anyone you know taken clozapine and lost weight?

clozapine · Medication · Mental health

Day 16. Clozapine 7.11.17

Today I’m on…

200mg clozapine

300mg quetiapine

2mg diazepam

400mg pregabline

I now only have to go in to the hospital for blood pressure checks at night.

Im so grateful that I no longer have to go to the local mental health acute day unit daily. I was getting so fed up and worked up about it.

My blood results have came back good as far as I’m aware. Which is reassuring, although I feel quite unwell. Temperature is raised and glands in my neck are up. I haven’t told no one because I do t want any stops in the medication.

I’ve been on clozapine over two weeks, and I was so worried about the side effects, the weight gain was my biggest concern. But I’ve actually been loosing weight. I am struggling to swallow, food and drink which No one knows either.

Hopefully the help will carry on. I think this was a good decision to go on to clozapine, I wish I had done it earlier.

clozapine · Medication · Mental health · psychosis · Schizophrenia

Day 9. 31.10.17 clozapine

Today I’m going up to 75mg morning and 25mg in the evening. I’m a bit gutted as I’m behind schedule. But hopefully it’s safer this way.

Things are okay, gone down to 500mg on my quetiapine,

Had a blood test yesterday and I’m scared somethings been put in to my arm, as I looked away when I was asked a question. I feel like I need to dig out my skin. And get the chip out.

clozapine · Daily update · Emotionally unstable personality disorder · hallucinations · Medication · Mental health · Personality disorder · psychosis · Schizophrenia · self harm · Voices

Day 8. Clozapine. 30.10.17

Saw my support work on the way in to the hospital today. She had been off for a week. Hopefully going to catch up with her later on in the week.

Today my blood pressure was up, I heard talking while having it done increases your blood pressure, it worked.

I’m on 75mg today. And also they have upped the rate of it increasing so I don’t have to wait an extra day so tomorrow it goes up by 50mg in the evening and 75mg in the morning.

I feel a little bit suspicious about everyone, I’m also struggling with the voices and being told to harm. I’m not sure how long I can hold out.

I’m staying here an hour, and then going home until later when I’m having my weekly blood test and blood pressure check.

I’m trying my best to keep hydrated but it’s difficult, I’m not used to drinking a lot, but I’m trying my best, already had a litre and it’s 9:45am.