Anxiety · blogger · clozapine · Cpn · Daily update · delusions · Doctors · Emotionally unstable personality disorder · hallucinations · i did it · Mental health · mental health blogger · Personality disorder · psychiatrist · psychosis · Schizophrenia · Sectioned · self harm · Support worker · Therapy

My support worker, what should I do with her.

I have a support worker and I’d like to work on getting out the house and achieve things I’m unable to on my own.

I’d like your ideas of things I could try, maybe things you’ve tried with your support or care team?

Maybe things other people with out mental illness are able to achieve especially at aged 25?

Any ideas?

My ideas are….

  • I’d like to go out for a walk around the area I live,
  • I’d like to walk a bit farther, maybe a a short drive then a walk,
  • Making a cup of tea or coffee for someone else.
  • Go in to a shop
  • Buy something in a shop by self service
  • Buy something at a check out with a person where you need to talk.
  • Go to a shop and not buy something
  • Walk up town
  • Volunteer at the rspca, church,
  • Maybe if i’m accepted go to a group therapy
  • Go to a gym club
  • Go swimming at the gym.

Any other ideas will be greatly appreciate?

Anxiety · blogger · clozapine · Cpn · Daily update · delusions · Diary · Doctors · Emotionally unstable personality disorder · Emotions · hallucinations · healthy · Medication · Mental health · mental health blogger · Now · Personality disorder · psychosis · scared · Schizophrenia · self harm · Support worker · Therapy · Voices

Save me from this struggle.

I’ve been struggling really bad the last few days. I’m not 100% sure why.

It could be because I stopped my diazepam cold turkey. I was only on 2mg and had been gradually going do any it was the last move with my medication.

The voices are taking control, I’m self harming more in a way to deal with them. I feel suicidal, and want to hide myself away. I’m hating who I . Im getting lack of sleep. Im very restless. And most of all I’m so anxious it’s stopping me from getting on with my day to day life.

I’ve called my community psychiatric nurse this morning but she was unable to talk so I’m waiting for a call back.

I don’t know what the solution is other than, come off the diazepam slower, or introduce another medication to help with the anxiety or voices.

Meds I’m currently on…

  • 400 mg clozapine,
  • 1.25 bisoprlol,
  • 600mg pregabline.

Any advice from my lovely followers would be helpful. Xx

Stay safe and well, Rosie.

Anxiety · Mental health · Personality disorder · Schizophrenia · Therapy

Therapy.

I’m struggling I went back to therapy the beginning of this week.

I was really difficult because we were talking about getting a job and life. I was given a weekly chart to fill out what I do and when.

I feel like I don’t need job and carer advice.

I want to have some one away from the nhs, that I can be really open and I feel free to say anything with out being shared in the office.

So I don’t know what to do. I want to go to have a spare person who is there when I need her but, I’m not sure she is thinking the same as me.

How’s therapy going for you?

What’s your experience with therapy that’s not with the nhs?

Anxiety · Career · Carer · delusions · depression · Doctors · Emotionally unstable personality disorder · Emotions · hallucinations · Health · Lonely · Mental age · Mental health · Mental health act · Nhs · Personality disorder · psychiatrist · psychosis · scared · Schizophrenia · Sectioned · Support worker · Therapy

Leave me be… talk to me, double sided rubber bracelet.

My bracelet leave me be in red and talk to me on green. It’s soft and nice to wear. It’s easy to swap between sides. It’s a large bracelet and as far as I’m aware they only come in inside, and it’s large, even on me and I’m an adult.

It’s a great way non verbal or verbal can express if they want to talk or not.

It’s a great way to express when they want to talk. It’s neutral so it suites both make and female.

It’s great if you can’t verbalise what you want.

Anxiety · clozapine · delusions · depression · Doctors · Emotionally unstable personality disorder · hallucinations · Medication · Mental health · Personality disorder · psychosis · Schizophrenia · self harm · Support worker · Therapy · Voices · Weight · weight gain

What’s your clozapine stories??

I start tomorrow and would love some advice or information about what to expect?

Thank you. X

You can leave a comment or message me rosiestar11@yahoo.co.uk

31 day blog challenge · anorexia · Anxiety · depression · Emotionally unstable personality disorder · Medication · Mental health · Personality disorder · Schizophrenia · Therapy

Day 20- Diagnosis

Over the years my diagnosis have changed, mainly due to recovering from them, when I was younger I was diagnosed with,

depression

ocd and

anorexia.

I was treated with antidepressants and had a lot of cbt, (cognitive behavioural therapy.) and weekly meetings with my child and adolescents services. The crisis team were involved a lot, but never found them helpful.

I recovered from depression and coped with ocd through therapy and medication.

Anorexia took a little bit longer to recover from I guess when I was 19 I would say I started to recover by eating in front of people and learning to eat in public.

But I soon discovered alcohol and my weight was still an issue in my head but I don’t remember being anorexic and then overweight. It felt like it happened overnight. But now I’m able to look back on pictures and see that it was the alcohol. I was drinking so much alcohol that I was having twice the daily limit of calories. I was soon over weight and currently still am. Although I lost 50 lbs since this time last year, I slipped back down the alcohol spiral a few months ago and that 50lbs is back on.

Currently I am diagnosed with

anxiety,

schizophrenia and

emotionally unstable personality disorder.

I’m currently taking medication to keep my symptoms under control, and I am supposed to be started on the strongest antipsychotic currently around. I’m hoping this will help me more. As I’m currently not getting enough relief from the one I’m on. I’ve had a few sessions of therapy but the nhs only give you 20 session and that’s not enough to get into deep emotions, symptoms and behaviours.

So I will carry on fighting.

I’ve only included the diagnosis. I have not included any symptoms. I don’t want to trigger any one, so I won’t be including these and the ways I learn to self cope. If I thought they were helpful I would.

I also haven’t included any physical illnesses as my blog is mainly about mental illness.

Anxiety · Cpn · Daily update · delusions · Doctors · Emotionally unstable personality disorder · hallucinations · Health · healthy · hospital · Medication · Mental health · Personality disorder · psychiatrist · psychosis · Schizophrenia · self harm · spying · Support worker · Therapy · Voices

Monday 16th October 2017

I’m back in to the local mental health hospital. I had a blood test last week that showed low white blood cells, and because of this I was unable to start clozapine, this is another blood test to see if anything has changed from last week.

I hope they get blood easily, they normally have to try a few times to get enough blood. It’s very frustrating and causes slot of anxiety.

I’m sat in the cafe because they don’t think we are dignified enough to have a waiting room. So it’s going of flows of being busy. It’s making my anxiety going all over the place, but if I go on clozapine I’ve got to get use to waiting here because I will have to do this weekly.

I’m not sure this is the right step for me and is this the sign.

I don’t know what to do, I’ve got my music on and that’s helping me feel calmer, but the voices are talking over it.