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Weight update.

I wish I could call this weightLOSS update, but I’m afraid that I’m heavier than I was this time last year.

I loss 50 lbs altogether and now that’s all back.

I really hate myself for that.

So I guess I need to put a plan in place to get back on that track. I’ve already made a good start to that with stopping alcohol. But I’m still eating loads of really unhealthy foods, and too much of that.

I also feel so tired at the moment and not able to exercise as much as I want.

My white blood cells are low and I wonder if that’s effecting me making me feel sleepy, if not then I really don’t know what to do and what’s going on.

Any help or suggestions would be very helpful.

So my weight is… 150lbs

With a goal of loosing 50lbs.

Help me loose weight.

Anxiety · exercise · Food · Health · healthy · Mental health · Over weight · Overweight · Weight · weight gain · weight loss · weightloss

Trying to go to the gym.

I’ve been trying to go to the gym, when I go I feel good and it feels brilliant to be getting the endorphins from exercise. I never regret going to the gym, I just regret not going.

I keep finding excuses, or I drink alcohol.

That’s what I’m fighting right now. I’ve put on weight and I feel low and bad, I want to go to the gym tonight, but I’m expecting a delivery and I really want to drink the alcohol so I can say it’s all gone. Plus alcohol in the short term would make me feel better.

I will get to the gym but I need motivation, if my weight gain isn’t enough motivation, I don’t know what will.

How do you motivate yourself?

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Clozapine trial

I’m anxious and first off if you’ve got any advice or personal stories of trial with clozapine, (clozaril.)

My Diagnosis: anxiety, emotionally unstable personality disorder, and schizophrenia.

I’ve tried most antipsychotic medications, and at really high dosages, they help for a while but then I get resistant to that.

I’m really scared of the weight gain as the side effects, what’s your side effects?

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Psychiatrist appointment

Last week I had a psychiatrist appointment, this caused so much anxiety as last time I went three months ago I was sectioned there and then.

But this time was relatively positive, I’m being put in s trial of clozapine, hoping it will treat both my personality disorder and schizophrenia.

I’ve never been on it but running out of antipsychotics that work.

Any advice would be really appreciated.

Feel free to comment or email me rosiestar11@yahoo.co.uk

anorexia · Anxiety · Daily update · Emotionally unstable personality disorder · exercise · Food · Health · healthy · Medication · Mental health · Over weight · Overweight · Personality disorder · scared · Schizophrenia · Weight · weight gain · weight loss · weightloss

When did I get fat?

It feels like yesterday I felt thin and was at my lowest weight this year, the next thing I know I’m back into the overweight category.

I hate myself. I see all or nothing.

What I see in the mirror changes everything time even if I saw it seconds ago, it will be different a second later.

I need to get back down to that weight, it means so much to me to try and loose the weight and feel good about myself.

I’m fat, what I see in the mirror is fat, devil, and distorted. It’s scary.

anorexia · Anxiety · Daily update · Emotionally unstable personality disorder · exercise · Food · Health · healthy · Medication · Mental health · Nhs · Over weight · Overweight · Personality disorder · Schizophrenia · Weight · weight gain · weight loss · weightloss

Reached in to overweight!

I hate myself so much.

I’m so fat and no one can tell me otherwise, I know my weight.

I need to make changes but I really would like support, if your going through weight loss please me.

I’m disgusting, I need to keep moving, I don’t want to be lazy.

I don’t deserve anything nice.

Help me!